Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
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I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
His nipple licking is glorious
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