I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
