I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
