5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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