In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
he fucked my hip out of place.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
