get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Dicks are not precious.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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