During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
I didn't notice because vodka
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Randomize
