last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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