Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize
