Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
