a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
