Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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