found the other keg... it's in the tree
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I AM VODKA MAN
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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