The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
