Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
