I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
