Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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