Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
