i think i have herpe
just one?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
