I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
