i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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