thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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