Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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