now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
