What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
