where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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