I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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