I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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