Dual....:-)
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize