The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
