Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
