quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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