so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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