3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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