we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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