Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Randomize
