I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
