oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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