i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
