if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Randomize
