thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
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