its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
she peed on how many people?
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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