Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
