Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
sex in a hospital.. check
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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