He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
True strength comes from lack of pants
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
