if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
