i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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