I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
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