i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
