what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
