just come out here and I will go home with you...
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
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