she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
