I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
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