my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
