You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
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