sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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