This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
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He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
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Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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