And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I just found puke in my bra..
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
NoShamevember. You game?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
