I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize