i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
