For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
im calling her cock vulture from now on
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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