the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
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