If i come over, it means nothing
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Randomize
