She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize