I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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